WHEN TANTRUMS BECOME CHRONIC
A tantrum is a call for help.
And it is delivered the best way a child knows:
In the moment, it’s scary…for both you and your child. They are crying for help and at that time, you may not know how to help them.
But that’s okay!
That’s why we wrote about how to get through tantrums when they happen. Because when you respond to tantrums well, you are providing your child with the tools to get these needs met in healthier ways.
WHEN IT BECOMES CHRONIC
Let’s be honest. Children all have different experiences and personalities of their own. So sometimes…those tools may not be enough.
If the tantrums frequently last more than 30 minutes, occur multiple times a day, several days a week or are so strong that they interfere with the normal family dynamic…a deeper need is being expressed.
Try asking yourself these questions…
Is my child getting enough sleep?
Sleep deprivation makes everything harder.
Pain is felt more acutely, and focus is hard to maintain. Even minor problems present as large.
If your child is not getting the recommended amount of sleep (12–14 hours for toddlers, 11–13 hours for preschoolers, and 10–11 hours for school age children), try adjusting your day and evening routines to lengthen the amount of sleep everyone is getting.
You may be surprised at the results.
Is my child under stress?
Sometimes we forget that major life changes also affect our children.
Starting or changing schools, moving, parental divorce, new siblings and travel are all very stressful for children.
So you may witness their regression to that infant state (remember the why they do it article).
While many of these stressors cannot be avoided, you can try to avoid piling them on top of one another.
Try keeping daily routines as routine as possible. Offer extra comfort. Or simply remove those stressors that can be removed.
With patience and understanding, this too will pass.
Is it time to ask for professional help?
We’ve discussed why tantrums happen and how to get through them.
But what if something else is going on?
You may want to reach out to a professional if you’re feeling out of your depth, unsure of what to do, or believe your child may have additional needs.
Maybe there is a root cause.
Regardless of the reason, it’s important to work on improving the tantrums when they’re presenting before the behavior becomes habitual and more intense.
Frequent, long or violent tantrums could be a sign of any of these:
• Sensory processing disorder
• Autism spectrum disorder
• Psychological distress
A therapist can help you to decipher what your child’s words and actions are trying to say. And sometimes just knowing that support is there can be beneficial for parent and child. Trust me, seeking assessment from an occupational therapist, developmental pediatrician or play therapist could put you on the path toward resolution and healing!
If you’d like help sorting out what’s going on, you can sign up for a free 30 minute consultation to help guide your search for help. Sign up for your free consult below, and stay tuned for more content!
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